Schrödinger’s Catch

Dodge Savage is a long-time veteran of the courts. Years of experience have honed his skills and endowed him with a unique understanding of the game. Now, he’s ready to take your questions and share his special brand of wisdom.

Dear Dodge Savage,

My team constantly yells at me when I’m alone in the game, shouting “JUST ONE CATCH!” and “MAKE A CATCH!” I find it stressful enough to be in this situation without people telling me basically to “do the most effective thing in this game, because you need backup,” (not to mention it’s a bit demeaning). What should I do?

-Holden Caulfield

Hi Holden,

This is something that frustrates me as well. I personally prefer yelling “WIN THE GAME!”

Your teammates are just jealous of your awesome survival skills. Not only that, they want to know what it’s like to be alive again. While this kind of “encouragement” is unfortunately commonplace, your job is to focus on having fun and playing your best no matter what tier you are in.

-Dodge Savage

Dear Dodge Savage,

I’ve been with the same team for a long time now and our team has grown larger and larger. While I like playing with new people, it’s cutting into my playtime. What can I do?

-Sulk Hogan

Hey Sulk!

Many of us have been in this situation before. Your team is growing and so is your love of dodgeball, but you’ll have to ask yourself: why do you find the game fun? Is it the social element? Do you want to get better? Is it the competition? I think it’s totally fair to ask your team about their expectations and goals; you may have to rebuild your teams based on these common goals, because everyone has fun in different ways. If you want more playtime, you’ll probably have to form a smaller team, or a much flakier team. If you want to be more competitive, maybe you have to branch out, talk to some higher tier players, show up to VDL events to showcase your awesome bo staff catching/throwing/all around cool person skills. Talk to the execs, and other players in the gym about forming the bravo-all star of dodgeball teams.

-Dodge Savage

Dear Dodge Savage,

My shoulder popped out of its socket and now when I throw it feels funny. Any advice?

-Popped and Locked

Dear Popped Locked,

DUDE! See a doctor, and don’t play again till you are medically cleared…that sounds awful! In the meantime you should check out the Dodge Safe series and learn how to stay healthy on the courts.

-Dodge Savage

Have a burning dodgeball question you need answered? Submit your question in the comments below!