Schrödinger’s Catch #5

Posted on November 15, 2013 at 6:15 pm |


You folks submitted some awesome responses to my column last week, and yours truly couldn’t be happier! Here’s the next installment you’ve been waiting for, and keep those questions coming! I promise I will only dodge balls not issues.

Let’s get to the questions!

Hey Dodge!

What’s up with pub night? I have never been, and my team is always busy so I never feel like going. The seasons I do try to go it sells out! Is this event worth attending?

Soberingly yours,

— Bye Fieri

Slamma JAMMA that’s a big clamma question!!

Why doesn’t your team ever go to pub night? I just hope they’re all the unsung heroes of the third shift.

What can I tell you about pub night? That pub night is definitely worth attending!

Not enough of an answer? Our seasonal pub night is a VDL tradition, where you get to meet your dodgeball adversaries and idols, forge new relationships and teams. This is your chance to trick awesome players into being on your team, or drunkenly come up with the next frontier in dodgeball playstyle.

Did I mention prizes? Every year we give out tons of prizes at pub night, and you have to be there in order to win. Here’s my tip for maximizing your winnings and facebook friend count; find your lankiest teammate or make a new lanky friend and use their wingspan to game the VDL raffle sales.

Buy your ticket(s) early and quickly, or risk being the only one without prizes, new lanky friends or a fantasy dream team. Pub night sells out every season, so get your tickets at your respective gyms as soon as possible. For those of you who can’t make it to a gym in time, buy your ticket online right now!

More details for this year’s pub night:

Bye bye, Bye 

Mademoiselle Savage,

I love dodgeball but I’m always being targeted and hit out early by the other teams, especially when I am moving across the court trying to secure precious victory balls. How can I avoid this?

Waiting for a catch,

— Fred Vulnerable

Dear Vulnerable,

There isn’t too much you can do about the other team targeting you. They need to eliminate opposing players to win the game, and you just happen to be one of six potential targets.

Players who are fetching balls often look like easy and unaware targets waiting for sweet dodgeball justice by a coordinated firing squad. I would like to hope that you have a good team, with teamates who can support you while you are collecting balls by pushing the opposing team back with the threat of their own balls, but I’ve already talked about this at length:

What you can do is present a poor target to the other team. When you are moving across the court, present the impression of a threatening player who is ready make a big defensive play (catch, block, sweep). The goal is to make your opponent think twice before throwing their ball at you; any hesitation or indecision on their part ups your chances of survival.

So for those of you who skipped to the end, the greater lesson here is “Keep your eyes up and be prepared for anything”, but failing that the lesson is “Fake it until you make it!”

Don’t take chances, take games!

Dodge Savage

Comments are closed.